Life coaching Top Tips

Here are some thoughts from me to follow on from Jo’s reflections on fear.


It is possible to live in a state of fear without even really recognising and acknowledging it as such. Perhaps a few of us - if not all of us - can relate to that, given the events of the last 15 months. It certainly rings true for me. 


This can have a very detrimental effect on our emotional and physical wellbeing, creating dis-ease in both.


Talking to friends and family and writing a journal can help to identify those fears and put a name to them. Once voiced, the fear is recognised: it becomes tangible. Once recognised, we have the power to choose how we address the fear. The important thing is to get it ‘out there’ and no longer contain it like a dark secret. 


We can, of course, become ‘paralysed’ by fear. In the coaching context I see this manifested as the fear of change; as Julia Samuel points out, “The most common ways we resist change are by being busy or terrified to engage.”


She goes on to say, “Change tests our beliefs and forces us to question what we once took for granted. It is important to allow these beliefs to evolve while holding onto our core beliefs, to let ourselves learn from our new experience. And sometimes we have to fail so we can move forward. Some of us will choose unhappiness over the pain of uncertainty. But when facing disruption, it can also be liberating to remind ourselves that we have no control over the key things in life that matter most to us: birth and death, the behaviour and feelings of the people around us. We can influence them, but mentally fighting to have absolute control is futile."


This extract is taken from The Too Shall Pass, by Dr Julia Samuel MBE - the latest Dreamtime Coaching Book Club book.